A Boring Saturday

Today is one of those boring saturday afternoons. Nothing to do, no one to go out with, wasting a precious weekend aimlessly. To be honest I am partly responsible for not arranging any activities today. If I had known that boredom would be so deranging, I should had asked someone out.

Easier said than done though.

Friends in NUS? They are busy preparing for their coming exams. Friends around my age? Either busy with work or busy with their own lives. For those who had began dating, saturdays are almost exclusively reserved for their other ones. Even if I was lucky enough to find someone available for a meal or drink, I would struggle to maintain a conversation. I had been away from the mainstream life that my peers are living in for too long. Their experiences and concerns are very incoherent from mine.

Examples?

While they are concerned with insurances, sound investment plans, blue chip shares, unit trusts, MONEY, finding a good date, relationship problems, COE prices, grievances at work... I find myself living in a totally different planet from them. What I am concerned with, were things that used to bother them 3 to 4 years ago.

The usual army grievances.

The present isn't like the past, when I used to meet my friends during the weekends and start complaining/comparing about our contrasting army life styles. All my friends had gone past that phase. It would not be appropriate to go out with them and start army talk, because that would make a 25 year old sound like an 18 year old. But I couldn't fit into most of their conversations either, because I have no knowledge of what they are experiencing out there. Solution?

Don't talk loh.

At least now I am wiser. I only meet people for activities that do not require talking. (E.g. soccer.) And I leave almost immediately after the game. Partly because it's 1900 on a sunday night and I need to book in, and partly because of the what I said earlier: Lack of a conversation topic.

For female friends, the situation is as discouraging. All of them had started working already. I tried going with a couple of them since I got back to the army. Asking them how are they doing would be a fatal mistake. They would either start talking about their grievances at work, or events that are happening outside of Bedok Camp. None of which I would be able to follow up with a proper conversation without genuinely looking lost. Worst still, some of the more sensitive ones would try to condescend and talk about army stuff.

Which I am so ashamed of myself when that happens.

Going out with women also hurts me in another way. My wallet. No matter how much they are complaining about how low their pay are, they are still earning 4 figure salaries at the very least. I only take home $586.++ per month.

So where does the pain come from?

Most of my dates with women would be meeting up for meals. Being the stubborn chauvinist, my pride would not allow the girl to pay if she did not drop any hints to go dutch. The damage is not very much if I do that once in a month. But if I were to go out for meals with ladies on a consistent basis on every weekend, the chances of me going broke would be higher. And these dates are purely meeting up sessions, with no hope of further progress :)
Conclusion?

Going out with women is not cheap. So only go out with the one that you are really interested in.

Yah lah, I am very kiam siap. I deserved to be left on the shelf.

So here I am, blogging my life away on a Saturday night. To add to the list of no life activities which I had been engaging since 160505 last year, I trained a maplestory warrior and played dota. Today "Horlisong" is a proud warrior in Aquila, and was recently promoted to level 39 an hour ago! Anybody who is holding on to spare warrior equipment for males please let me know.

Let's all help to make "Horlisong" the number 1 Crusader in south east asia!

Staying at home also helped me realise that I had neglected someone for a long time unconsciously. She had been doing all the cleaning, washing, and cooking for everyone all these years. No, my family had never been rich enough to engage a Maria to help wth the chores.

That woman is my mother.

Today for once, I had been "stalking" my mum for the entire day. Okay, stalking sounded so obscene. What I really meant was I kept track of what she would do in a typical Saturday.

First, she started the day by going to the market to do her groceries and getting breakfast for us. When she called back (and woke me up in the process) to ask for help to bring back stuff, I couldn't believe I grumbled before dragging myself down stairs. Well, that's me, a lazy and useless piece of shit.

For the rest of the morning, she was busy doing laundary accumulated over the week. (That included my clothes I brought back from army.) Told her so many times not to bend over to reach for things on the floor but to squat, but she just wouldn't listen.

In the afternoon she received a call from the wife of that good-for-nothing uncle of mine. My uncle had drafted a will to transfer his share of his flat to his mistress. Why couldn't he leave everyone in peace even after his death? Must he wreak more havoc from hell? I really pity his wife, for she had to suffer a life time of grievances. That phone call certainly got mum's mood to a low, but no tears this time :)

Mum slept lazily on the sofa for the afternoon.

She did some family accounts after she woke up, then switched on the tv to watch some Jacky Wu variety show. The only thing I could do for her today was to get her dinner. After dinner, she went to her room and read some papers, followed by more tv. Channel 8 showed some Chow Yuen Fatt movie today, and she was engrossed in it.

She was fast asleep an hour ago.

If I wasn't at home, no one else in the family would have known that her Saturdays were spent like that. Dad would be out driving his cab as usual, my bro would be involved in his CCA, and my sister busy with work and dating.

I would not know how she thinks of such a lifestyle, but I honestly felt that it is a lonely life. My mother had been quietly supporting us in the background while all of us enjoyed lives like never before. And since I find going with girls a hassle at least while I am still in the army, I had decided to keep her company on whatever weekends I have left unburnt.

Not that this would be a decision which would please her. So often than not, she had publicly voiced her displeasure at me for camping in front of the computer the whole day during weekends.

"Nian qing ren ying gai chu qu huo dong yi xia!"

Which means young people should get involved in more social activities (like dating). Every lunar new year, she would pepper me with questions about my disgusting singlehood and implore me to get married soon so that she could carry her grandchild/(grandson).

Mum, I haven't found the girl of my dreams yet! Could you just let me keep you company in the weekends while I can before I move to NIE this July?

I had realised, that I had been taking after that useless uncle of mine over the past few years. There is no point in wasting time on women who would not even have me in their thoughts, let alone hope that they would show me some concern. It is time I made good of my resolution.

To be a good man and not a nice man.

I am not aversed to women, but I should have known better who are the ones that deserve attention.

The only woman in this world that I owed most and am obliged to take care of for the rest of my life,

Is my mother.