I am sure many of us had served as sentries when performing our guard duties. I was no exception, as me and my mates had stood solitarily before on a small piece of concrete which was referred to as the "island".
Several interesting observations could be made around the guard house if one had made the effort to look carefully from the island.
First up are the cats. Bedok camp had unofficially adopted a litter of stray cats in its premises for a very long time. The cats would loiter around the cookhouse during meal times, and the guardhouse during supper. They will always make the same old "meow" at you whenever you are chewing food in front of them. They are always hungry. They are always begging. It never fails to amuse me when it comes to observing their behavior. For example, a cat 20 metres away from me could sprint to my location within seconds after I had dropped a piece of bread near my feet. If you continue to feed the cat until it is full, you will be rewarded with the sight of a lifetime.
The cat will lie down flat on its back and stretch its limbs lazily in the air.
Cats are fun to play with. They are so innocent to the point of naivety. There was once when I had to do sentry duty in the wee hours of the morning.
And I was bored.
Fortunately, there was a cat sitting against the wall across the road. Without thinking, I pointed an intense beam of laser from my rifle to its belly. It did not react. I slowly guided the beam from belly to head. This time it jumped up and stared at the little red dot on the wall, as if it was something that could be eaten. The cat followed the dot wherever it went. Left, right, up, down, the cat would crawl, jump, prone, run, do whatever it took to follow the red dot. Finally I sent the beam out onto the soccer field faraway. And the cat disappeared into the dark.
I wonder what would happen if I pointed the beam onto my buddy's crotch if I had the chance in future? =)
As you slowly come to terms with my perverse, it would be appropriate of me to change to a more moderate topic.
The second observation could be considered the 8th wonder of the world. Would you believe me that there exists in this world, a door that could shape the behavior, character, appearance, and even physical deficiencies of a person just by passing through it? Yes this door exists. It is the gate people pass through when they book in and out of camp.
This gate does not slim down plump ladies, rejuvenate youth into the old, or replace an ugly face with a pretty one. However, it could transform a lethargic guy into an energiser battery the moment he walks out of it. A sloppily dressed fag would suddenly be well-groomed just before he steps in. A botak recruit walking perfectly normal outside the gate could suddenly be limping for his life after passing through it.
Such is the magic of the gate.
As for the last observation, it would have to be the sky overlooking our guard house. It is a common sight to see planes descend towards the nearby Changi International Airport. Their flapped up rudders, exposed wheels, and flashing lights all contributed to a majestic aura unique to them. Very few machines ever invented could command as much respect as the planes.
For planes epitomised man's desire to take flight.
Flight had always been associated with notions of hopes and dreams. To be able to fly would mean transcending beyond the mortal plane which the bulk of the masses reside. To be high up in the sky closer to the heavens. To be uninhibited.
To be free.
The concept of "lack of freedom" had been widely abused in the army. Almost all the NSFs I know sang to the tunes of a jailbird in unison. Even myself was guilty of complaining about the restrictions and stifling environment in camp. But after some reflecting, I realised we were only half right about the state of our freedoms. Although we had lost the right to micromanage our lives in camp, but we had not lost the right to micromanage our thoughts.
The ability to ponder aimlessly is a luxury not many could afford, especially with all the deadlines and reports pending in jobs out there in the working work. On the other hand, being in the army now is comparable to having a very long holiday. A holiday which allowed me time to digest the whirlwind of events which spun past my life for the last 5 years. A chance to reorganise my priorities, principles, past, and future. I guess there would not be many instances in my life which I could do such a massive housekeeping again. (Unless I got retrenched or retire.)
The day would come when all of us will have to pass through that gate for good. It would be no brainer to expect a tremendous sense of joy and release from many of us who had been repaying this national debt for 2 years. But regaining freedom should not be the most important concern on that day. The most important thing would be, after all the toils and snares endured for so long, did we become fillial sons to our parents, loving partners to our companions, and loyal pals to our friends?
If the answer is no, then I am afraid the past 2 years had really gone to waste. I had remembered a conversation with my grandmother 5 years ago, when I was serving NS before disruption. Life for me was tougher then, and I whined a bit in front of her. Her response was simple.
"We are grateful to you and others who are serving the nation. Without you the japanese would come again."
My initial response to my grandmother was of disbelief and shrugged it off with indifference. Why would the Japanese come and attack us again? Years later when I recollected that moment, I finally understood what she felt.
It may sound far fetched and biased towards the Japanese in contemporary times, especially when they had adopted a pacifist foreign policy after the war. But such was the impact and degree of fear they had struck into the minds of our older generation that decades after the war, memories continue to haunt the living. The least I could do was to emphatise with her insecurities.
I stopped questioning the purpose of NS since, no matter how stifling, humiliating, and punishing life was going to be. (Although I still complain a bit now and then.) =)
Life now of course would not be as tough then, considering I have less that 4 months to ORD. But that little lesson still hangs around in memory. Apart from that, what other things have I learnt in the 2 years donning the green uniform? For one I had learnt to live with the privileged and not. That would be the greatest treasure acquired within me.
Looking at the gate again, I realised I had been day dreaming for the past one hour. Time passes slowly when you are conscious, but flies when you are not. It was 0500 hrs. Time to change shift.
As I stared at the long path outside the gate which leads to the main road, one day I will walk down this path with all my barang barang slung over my shoulder. I will beam with pride that day.
Not because that day marks the end of all the physical toils.
Not because that day marks the end of all the nights spent under the moon and the stars.
And definitely not because we had become the fillial sons, loving boyfriends, or loyal pals we had hoped to be.
But simply because,
We were soldiers.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Amazing Grace
I had just received news that my uncle (mum's elder brother) had passed away today. I do not feel sad, and I have no intention to attend his wake. It would be unfeeling of me to behave that way. But would you find it strange if his wife and children have no intention to visit him at his wake as well? Wait a minute, wasn't his family supposed to host the wake?
His wake is hosted by his mistress's family.
His death to me, would mean an end to half a lifetime of mistakes. It would not be polite of me to post the unpleasant events that had happened in my relatives' family online for all to know.
What concerns me, is that whether his mistakes would be forgiven by all at his grave. From the tears in my mum's eye after she learnt of the news, it was clear that she held nothing against him. Finally. What was there to hold against a dead man? Perhaps my mum received lots of kindness from my uncle when they were young? Perhaps my uncle was not such an unfeeling guy in the past? Or perhaps because he is the only kin my mum had left in the world?
Actually it's because my mum is a soft but yet kind hearted woman.
But I could not blame my cousins for their indifference towards his death. My uncle had indeed, done them injustice for decades. He shirked his responsibilites as a husband and father, squandered money and time over women other than his wife, had money for anything but his son's education... (I apologise to my cousins for disclosing a bit of the ugly side of your family affairs.) The disappointment in my mum's face after the short phone call from my cousin said it all.
They have no connections to this man.
As I pondered over the sobs from my mum's bedroom, many questions surfaced in my mind. Many of those whose answers could not be found easily. Somehow, despite being encaged in a gulf of disgust and dispair, something resonated inside me which brought about a peace of mind soon afterwards.
It's the willingness to forgive. Forgiveness had always been the greatest gift God had given to man.
"Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:34
After the anger had subsided, all that residued in my mind was that my uncle had lived his life in a folly. A folly that described a complete waste of life. Life which everyone of us could only have one.
What could be learnt from this unpleasant episode?
For starters, try not to make mistakes in life such that even death may not bring forgiveness from others. That would be a tragedy to all, dead or alive. Pain often does not follow the dead to their grave. It lingers among the living.
Maybe people could learn to honour their promises and commitments. It is not easy I know. (I pulled out last minute from a soccer game when I had given my promise earlier.) But being an honourable person would be a very noble thing to do. Very few are born honourable. Being honourable is a choice, a self-cultivation, a discipline, and a determination. It would however, be naive to believe that completely honourable persons exist in masses. Somehow in our lives cutting corners and breaking our words would be inevitable. But if we could hold our words to commitments that involve much at stake, then we may not have to end up compromising the feelings of many other people.
Perhaps the most important lesson of all is still to learn how to forgive. It is not easy to do as it is to say. It take a magnanimous character to do that. Jesus forgave all of us even when he was cruxified to the cross. (Heh, who are we to be compared to him?) I think I would slap someone back if he slapped me first, and not offer him my other cheek like Jesus. But still, if we could learn to forgive somewhere down the road in our lives, we would inherit freedom. When you forgive those who had sinned against you, God will forgive you too. =)
Because forgiveness frees the soul from enslavement.
I had read somewhere before about the difference between a nice man and a good man. Although they may sound similar, but they are fundamentally different. A nice man is someone who aims to please everyone, so that they would in return shower him with respect and kindness. A good man just does whatever right things that had to be done, without consideration for curry favouring. I believed my uncle had been a nice man, judging from the amount of gifts he showered upon the many strangers in his life. But was he a good man?
I did not write so much to mislead that I am a saintly person. In fact, I am a person of many flaws. Those who had read my blog on "lessons in patience" will understand that my patience is connected to a livewire. I have my fair share of people whom I had offended and disappointed. I had cowardly ran away from my problems instead of facing the music to say a sincere sorry. Worst of all, I had forgotten much of the misdeeds that I had done.
And I had mistaken myself to be a good man when I was only nice.
I certainly would not like to end up like my uncle, when forgiveness could only be sought from the deathbed, and I would like others to forgive me for whatever hurt or injustice I had done to them. But before that happens,
I must apologise to all, and learn to forgive.
His wake is hosted by his mistress's family.
His death to me, would mean an end to half a lifetime of mistakes. It would not be polite of me to post the unpleasant events that had happened in my relatives' family online for all to know.
What concerns me, is that whether his mistakes would be forgiven by all at his grave. From the tears in my mum's eye after she learnt of the news, it was clear that she held nothing against him. Finally. What was there to hold against a dead man? Perhaps my mum received lots of kindness from my uncle when they were young? Perhaps my uncle was not such an unfeeling guy in the past? Or perhaps because he is the only kin my mum had left in the world?
Actually it's because my mum is a soft but yet kind hearted woman.
But I could not blame my cousins for their indifference towards his death. My uncle had indeed, done them injustice for decades. He shirked his responsibilites as a husband and father, squandered money and time over women other than his wife, had money for anything but his son's education... (I apologise to my cousins for disclosing a bit of the ugly side of your family affairs.) The disappointment in my mum's face after the short phone call from my cousin said it all.
They have no connections to this man.
As I pondered over the sobs from my mum's bedroom, many questions surfaced in my mind. Many of those whose answers could not be found easily. Somehow, despite being encaged in a gulf of disgust and dispair, something resonated inside me which brought about a peace of mind soon afterwards.
It's the willingness to forgive. Forgiveness had always been the greatest gift God had given to man.
"Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:34
After the anger had subsided, all that residued in my mind was that my uncle had lived his life in a folly. A folly that described a complete waste of life. Life which everyone of us could only have one.
What could be learnt from this unpleasant episode?
For starters, try not to make mistakes in life such that even death may not bring forgiveness from others. That would be a tragedy to all, dead or alive. Pain often does not follow the dead to their grave. It lingers among the living.
Maybe people could learn to honour their promises and commitments. It is not easy I know. (I pulled out last minute from a soccer game when I had given my promise earlier.) But being an honourable person would be a very noble thing to do. Very few are born honourable. Being honourable is a choice, a self-cultivation, a discipline, and a determination. It would however, be naive to believe that completely honourable persons exist in masses. Somehow in our lives cutting corners and breaking our words would be inevitable. But if we could hold our words to commitments that involve much at stake, then we may not have to end up compromising the feelings of many other people.
Perhaps the most important lesson of all is still to learn how to forgive. It is not easy to do as it is to say. It take a magnanimous character to do that. Jesus forgave all of us even when he was cruxified to the cross. (Heh, who are we to be compared to him?) I think I would slap someone back if he slapped me first, and not offer him my other cheek like Jesus. But still, if we could learn to forgive somewhere down the road in our lives, we would inherit freedom. When you forgive those who had sinned against you, God will forgive you too. =)
Because forgiveness frees the soul from enslavement.
I had read somewhere before about the difference between a nice man and a good man. Although they may sound similar, but they are fundamentally different. A nice man is someone who aims to please everyone, so that they would in return shower him with respect and kindness. A good man just does whatever right things that had to be done, without consideration for curry favouring. I believed my uncle had been a nice man, judging from the amount of gifts he showered upon the many strangers in his life. But was he a good man?
I did not write so much to mislead that I am a saintly person. In fact, I am a person of many flaws. Those who had read my blog on "lessons in patience" will understand that my patience is connected to a livewire. I have my fair share of people whom I had offended and disappointed. I had cowardly ran away from my problems instead of facing the music to say a sincere sorry. Worst of all, I had forgotten much of the misdeeds that I had done.
And I had mistaken myself to be a good man when I was only nice.
I certainly would not like to end up like my uncle, when forgiveness could only be sought from the deathbed, and I would like others to forgive me for whatever hurt or injustice I had done to them. But before that happens,
I must apologise to all, and learn to forgive.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Lessons in Patience.
I have deep admirations for people who have lots of patience.
Because I am one whose patience is found wanting by the yards.
There was chinese saying, "Bai Ren Cheng Jin." Which literally meant patience would eventually lead to gold. How true that saying was!
I remember several awkward and near fatal incidences in my life which resulted when my patience deserted me.
Those that left the deepest impressions on me were the instances when I was driving in a hurry. I almost knocked down pedestrians or collided with other vehicles in those near misses. Maybe I should record down the top 2 incidences in this blog to serve as a reminder for myself.
2. Almost caused an accident at a major cross junction.
I was as usual in a rush that day. Was supposed to made a U-turn from Sungei Road to Rochor Canal road to pick up a friend at Sim Lim Square taxi stand.
Because I am one whose patience is found wanting by the yards.
There was chinese saying, "Bai Ren Cheng Jin." Which literally meant patience would eventually lead to gold. How true that saying was!
I remember several awkward and near fatal incidences in my life which resulted when my patience deserted me.
Those that left the deepest impressions on me were the instances when I was driving in a hurry. I almost knocked down pedestrians or collided with other vehicles in those near misses. Maybe I should record down the top 2 incidences in this blog to serve as a reminder for myself.
2. Almost caused an accident at a major cross junction.
I was as usual in a rush that day. Was supposed to made a U-turn from Sungei Road to Rochor Canal road to pick up a friend at Sim Lim Square taxi stand.
The star in the diagram was the major cross junction. Oblivious to the U-turn filter before the junction, I actually turned right into Rochor Canal road at the junction! The crux of the problem lies in the fact that I was not travelling in the right most lane, but on the second lane from the right. So you could imagine the shock the driver on my right had when I suddenly swerved into his path and did a classic initial D turn. (Which either left him mesmerised or haunted for the rest of his night).
1. This incident occured at a T-junction somewhere in Toa Payoh. I was very late for a soccer game. Usually at a controlled traffic junction, if a driver wants to turn left, he must look out for the any pedestrians crossing in front of him BEFORE turning. Especially those that are crossing from his blind spot to the other side of the road. That day I forgot to check for pesdestrians on my blind spot and turned straight away. Almost knocked down an old lady. Even until today the guilt still lingers in me whenever I see any old lady in my rear mirror.
Somehow I think life is inexplicable at times. For all my reckless driving, I got off with just close shaves. But the one and only traffic accident I got involved in was a result of others' mistakes. And I was not driving like a bull that day. In fact, it was my careful driving that minimised the damage for all 3 cars! i.e. I did not tailgate and braked early to minimise the damage upon collision. Yet the fucker before me still claimed damages against me. Shall not dwell into that. It never fails to dampen my day whenever I rummage through the writs and claims.
On a less lethal note, my lack of patience had also caused several moments of awkwardness. There was an instance when I was meeting a friend for a movie. Due to some unknown circumstances to me then, she changed the meeting venue and time at the eleventh hour. Moreover I couldn't hear her clearly over the phone because the signal was intermittent. We did tie down to meet at a bus stop over SMS though, but to my horror there were just so many bus-stops in that area when I finally arrived there! Can you imagine how many bus stops there were around tekka market???
With no hope of catching the movie on time, fustration of looking for the exact venue, low batt on my handphone, my friend nowhere to be in sight, my patience effervescenced faster than the speed of light.
You could imagine what the rest of the night turned out. Fortunately the only saving grace was that I did not hurl abuses at her. In fact, I said nothing from the moment I finally met her until after the show. It was just silence all the way.
I have always held by a principle whenever I am severely pissed off. Don't say a word when you are not in the best of mood, because words hurt most then, and words are like water thrown out onto the asphalt.
They can't be taken back.
So I may live to regret what I had said out of a fit of anger when I had finally cooled down. Isn't it an irony, that I can control myself when I had lost my patience but I could not control myself not losing it in the first place?
That had always been my achilles heel for 2.5 decades.
Even until today, I am very thankful that I did not hurl anything at her that day even though she must had sensed my extremely foul mood through my body language. I would hate myself if I had said something that would hurt her that day. I had found out later from her that she was late because she was held up at work. How to fault her for that? Moreover she was willing to travel all the way down from tampines to town and catch a movie with a hot headed idiot despite being tired. It does not take an idiot to figure out how low class and ungentlemanly it would be to shout at a girl. (Actually I don't shout at guys too. I just point middle finger or fight it out with them). But being ungentlemanly would not be the main reason of my self-reprimanding.
But more because that friend of mine is a pleasant lady with immense patience.
It never fails to intrigue me how she acquires her patience. Is it inherent or cultivated? She never flares up, never raises her voice, only that she might sound defensive at times. It is always fascinating to observe her way of looking at things. The way which I hope to have one day. =)
Ok ok before everyone here gets mislead into thinking that I am terribly in love, let me clarify myself. It is just a boyhood fascination about the characters of people who have lots of patience. I have such fascinations on guys as well! Argh! I think I am weaving a web of controversies around myself. "Yue miao yue hei" in chinese.
But I am certainly attracted to ladies who are patient, and would not mind marrying one for a wife =)
Guess this had been a pretty long (winded) blog. To end, let me share 3 points with everyone.
1. If in doubt, never lose your patience.
2. If patience was lost, never say things that you might regret. Best is to keep silent. People who do not flare up even if they are angry are cultivated people.
3. There must always be a reasonable explanation behind things that don't appeal to you. Don't be so self-centred. If in doubt please read "The Kingdom of Self" by Earl Jabay. Take my above case as an example. Can you be angry at someone who was late for a date because of work?
Perhaps whatever I had said today will help all of us improve as individuals.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
A Day of Many Firsts.
For those of you who are observant enough, this blog was posted not very long after I posted the previous one about the budget. Please do not misunderstand me as a pathetic no life SAF personnel blogging alone on a lonely saturday afternoon.
Actually I had planned to go for a jog (like that also got life meh?) later in the day at around 1730 hrs, after a good 3 days of *rest* from my MC. (Rest = 3 days of swallowing and spitting blood from my wisdom tooth wound). But alas! The sky was overcasted with ominous looking clouds.
So I am confined to my computer again.
I think I digressed too much. I haven't mentioned so far a single thing about the firsts which I had achieved today.
1. Starting with the most trivial, I managed to obtain an aegis and divine rapier in a Dota game today. Chao owning! All the enemy heros died like wimps under my mightly slashes! Muahahahaha. So childish... haha. For those who could not appreciate what is an aegis and divine rapier, they are the holy grail of items in dota. What do you think of a weapon that gives +250 damage and saves you from dying 3 times? Nothing comes close to them. Period.
2. I made my first online transaction today with my debit card! After a long time of reservations about the security of purchases made online, I finally made up my mind to buy two movie tickets to Memoirs of Geisha from the GV website. Reasoning : If so many people had done it before without complains, I guess it should be pretty safe for a noob like me to try right? Somemore if I do not buy them early online then I might run the risk of ending up with front row seats if I bought them late. So just heck care and buy lah! Be a man! Decisive! Just like the army posters, "If I didn't want to explore my limits, I would have ended up in the office."
3. I finally managed to squeeze a fishball into my mouth after so many days!
My mouth couldn't really open to its usual maximum size for the past few days due to the swollen cheek. Although I could squeeze an entire fishball in today, that does not mean I could chew it up lah, cos I could only use my left set of teeth until the wound fully recovers. Therefore, I had to take the ball out after putting it in. (Putting it in was meant to test my jaws, not to eat it).
The rain still showers the land savagely. Looks like my plans to relieve myself of the arrhythmia caused by the past few days' lack of exercise will be foiled. But it's ok! Today rain means tomorrow won't rain so tomorrow's soccer game will be played in good weather! haha!
Soccer is forever more important than running. (That's why I'm still a lousy player).
Actually I had planned to go for a jog (like that also got life meh?) later in the day at around 1730 hrs, after a good 3 days of *rest* from my MC. (Rest = 3 days of swallowing and spitting blood from my wisdom tooth wound). But alas! The sky was overcasted with ominous looking clouds.
So I am confined to my computer again.
I think I digressed too much. I haven't mentioned so far a single thing about the firsts which I had achieved today.
1. Starting with the most trivial, I managed to obtain an aegis and divine rapier in a Dota game today. Chao owning! All the enemy heros died like wimps under my mightly slashes! Muahahahaha. So childish... haha. For those who could not appreciate what is an aegis and divine rapier, they are the holy grail of items in dota. What do you think of a weapon that gives +250 damage and saves you from dying 3 times? Nothing comes close to them. Period.
2. I made my first online transaction today with my debit card! After a long time of reservations about the security of purchases made online, I finally made up my mind to buy two movie tickets to Memoirs of Geisha from the GV website. Reasoning : If so many people had done it before without complains, I guess it should be pretty safe for a noob like me to try right? Somemore if I do not buy them early online then I might run the risk of ending up with front row seats if I bought them late. So just heck care and buy lah! Be a man! Decisive! Just like the army posters, "If I didn't want to explore my limits, I would have ended up in the office."
3. I finally managed to squeeze a fishball into my mouth after so many days!
My mouth couldn't really open to its usual maximum size for the past few days due to the swollen cheek. Although I could squeeze an entire fishball in today, that does not mean I could chew it up lah, cos I could only use my left set of teeth until the wound fully recovers. Therefore, I had to take the ball out after putting it in. (Putting it in was meant to test my jaws, not to eat it).
The rain still showers the land savagely. Looks like my plans to relieve myself of the arrhythmia caused by the past few days' lack of exercise will be foiled. But it's ok! Today rain means tomorrow won't rain so tomorrow's soccer game will be played in good weather! haha!
Soccer is forever more important than running. (That's why I'm still a lousy player).
Generous Budget?
Just read about the recent national budget unveiled by our government. Honestly I felt it was a payout with more heart compared to recent years, especially with the focus on the older workers. Examples included the topping up of the Eldercare Fund and Medifund by S$100m each, and top ups for CPF Special, Retirement and Medisave accounts for those aged 50 years old and above.
Why am I so concerned with the benefits catered to the older workers when I am a young man at 25?
For my parents of course! They are an honest couple who slogged their lives in the lower rug of the civil service, subjected to the harsh winds of economic restructuring and market forces. That little bit of payout would serve as an overdued recognition their contributions.
I would also hope to see our government giving more help to our senior citizens in the future no matter which party wins the upcoming GE. (Bullshitting right, of course PAP will win by a landslide again...) But getting our foot to the ground, our population is indeed ageing consciously or subconsciously. Our not so proud fertility rate per woman of 1.24 is only better than South Korea's 1.22. Which means we will see more grey hair hanging around Orchard road when my generation becomes 40 years old!
Then how? Encourage people to be more amorous??? Make out like rabbits?
I'm no policy maker so I would not know what is the best solution to the problem. Of course the standard solutions like reducing costs, etc... had been announced by Ah Loong last year during his rally speech (don't send this blog to ISD or I'll be in jail for defamation). Glad that he gave pragmatic solutions and highlighted the problem in time. Although the perks would not result in an immediate boom of babies like the post war period, but I sincerely hope to see more young people around in Singapore over the years when I grow older. heh.
Now why am I talking like Chua Mui Hoong today?
Actually everything boils down to having more young people to support the economy so that the older workers do not have to work to help sustain the economy so that they could work for leisure and not for survival. Phew! What a long mouthful. I very cheong hei (long breath in cantonese) right?
Then people like my parents and also the older ones who had seen the war days could really enjoy their twilight years in Singapore. They had helped build our country to what it is today, times when most young people are glued to computer screens playing dota and maplestory (like what my sickening bro is doing now and refusing me my turn at dota). Wonder what kids do 40 to 50 years ago? I had been to the town of Rockhampton recently. (Sorry Aussies, I really regard it as a town rather than a city as you guys would say). That was a nice place! Very serene, clean air, beautiful natural scenery, comfortable pace of life, tasty beef... I guess all that explained why people are friendlier. What a good place for retirees to settle down!
It would be audacious even to hope that Singapore would somehow transform into such a place for our senior citizens in the future. But still, with all the recent incentives about boosting birth rates, handouts, and help given to older workers, I hope our country would evolve into a place that our senior citizens would feel proud and appreciated enough to live the last of their lives.
Because this is the place they helped to build.
Why am I so concerned with the benefits catered to the older workers when I am a young man at 25?
For my parents of course! They are an honest couple who slogged their lives in the lower rug of the civil service, subjected to the harsh winds of economic restructuring and market forces. That little bit of payout would serve as an overdued recognition their contributions.
I would also hope to see our government giving more help to our senior citizens in the future no matter which party wins the upcoming GE. (Bullshitting right, of course PAP will win by a landslide again...) But getting our foot to the ground, our population is indeed ageing consciously or subconsciously. Our not so proud fertility rate per woman of 1.24 is only better than South Korea's 1.22. Which means we will see more grey hair hanging around Orchard road when my generation becomes 40 years old!
Then how? Encourage people to be more amorous??? Make out like rabbits?
I'm no policy maker so I would not know what is the best solution to the problem. Of course the standard solutions like reducing costs, etc... had been announced by Ah Loong last year during his rally speech (don't send this blog to ISD or I'll be in jail for defamation). Glad that he gave pragmatic solutions and highlighted the problem in time. Although the perks would not result in an immediate boom of babies like the post war period, but I sincerely hope to see more young people around in Singapore over the years when I grow older. heh.
Now why am I talking like Chua Mui Hoong today?
Actually everything boils down to having more young people to support the economy so that the older workers do not have to work to help sustain the economy so that they could work for leisure and not for survival. Phew! What a long mouthful. I very cheong hei (long breath in cantonese) right?
Then people like my parents and also the older ones who had seen the war days could really enjoy their twilight years in Singapore. They had helped build our country to what it is today, times when most young people are glued to computer screens playing dota and maplestory (like what my sickening bro is doing now and refusing me my turn at dota). Wonder what kids do 40 to 50 years ago? I had been to the town of Rockhampton recently. (Sorry Aussies, I really regard it as a town rather than a city as you guys would say). That was a nice place! Very serene, clean air, beautiful natural scenery, comfortable pace of life, tasty beef... I guess all that explained why people are friendlier. What a good place for retirees to settle down!
It would be audacious even to hope that Singapore would somehow transform into such a place for our senior citizens in the future. But still, with all the recent incentives about boosting birth rates, handouts, and help given to older workers, I hope our country would evolve into a place that our senior citizens would feel proud and appreciated enough to live the last of their lives.
Because this is the place they helped to build.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Back against all odds?
For all the drama that happened to my comp yesterday, none of it reenacted today. On the contrary, my comp persevered in a series of miraculous successful bootups to regain my confidence in it. Although its performance wasn't suitable for online games, at least it could do day to day chores like email, blogging, msn-ing, and music.
Mai hiam eh sai lah!
I was so thankful that it came back on the stroke of my desperation. Replacing the comp might sound easy, but it would still cost at least 1k. Moreover, I conducted some tests on my bro's comp today. (i.e. installed online games) Guess what? The games ran flawlessly without the dreaded lag! Woo hoo! Therefore being the stingy low income personnel from the SAF, I decided not to replace my comp!
All gaming needs in the family will be resolved with my bro's brand new comp.
Mai hiam eh sai lah!
I was so thankful that it came back on the stroke of my desperation. Replacing the comp might sound easy, but it would still cost at least 1k. Moreover, I conducted some tests on my bro's comp today. (i.e. installed online games) Guess what? The games ran flawlessly without the dreaded lag! Woo hoo! Therefore being the stingy low income personnel from the SAF, I decided not to replace my comp!
All gaming needs in the family will be resolved with my bro's brand new comp.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
My comp finally broke down for good
Today my computer had a rude surprise for me. It had finally broke down after showing signs of weakness over the past year. I had bought it sometime during august in 2002, so that makes it 3++ years old.
The first signs of its fraility began in the morning when I was surfing the net. Suddenly
its performance slowed to a very uncomfortable lag. It took 30 odd seconds just to display the pop up window when I right clicked my mouse.
Determined not to give up on my comp so easily, (since it revived many times over the past year after some formats and troubleshooting), I decided to use the first law of computer resuscitation. Ctrl+Alt+Del! Guess what? It seemed to acquire a certain immunity towards even the most potent weapon used during troubleshooting back in the MS-DOS days. Since my comp was developing some form of pleasure staring at me right in the face, manually rebooting it by the reset button was a necessity.
The same old lag didn't go away with a reboot. While it used to take a couple of minutes to boot up into windows with all startups loaded, this time it took more than 10 minutes! Even after a few restarts by the reset button, (the comp would not respond to the Ctrl+Alt+Del option anymore) it only went from far to worse. The record timing for a startup was 25 minutes! Omg! What's wrong with my comp? Never surf porn also kena virus meh?
Realising that my comp was capable of everything but functioning properly, I decided that my hard disk deserves a refreshing shower. FORMAT! Finally going to format my comp for the first time since I left university! I thought that would be a universal solution to all problems, be it virus attack, worms, trojan horse, whatever fuck hackers can do to your comp. So as I gingerly inserted my Winxp CD and finished with the formatting of my comp, I heaved a big sigh of relief. Everything's going to be ok! The only chore left to do was the long process of installing the drivers, programs, and GAMES.
Suddenly, as the installation came to the "loading windows setup" stage, my comp shut down! What happened??? I thought it was a random error, so I restarted the whole installation process. It took me 3 tries before I realised that the automatic shut down during installation wasn't any random error. In fact, it was a critical error. Even after using other copies of Winxp disks (I had more that 1 backup of Winxp installation CD), the same error appeared as well. Even with the disks of Win2000, WinME, Win98, Win95, WinNT 4.0, the same error appeared!
Is there a jester in my comp today?
Nearing my wits' end now, I decided to go for a nap! Haha you must be wondering how would I find the mood to sleep at this moment of fired up passion and dispair? hmmm... The only explanation I could give was that such behavior was moulded by the army, especially when you are out in the field. E.g. during navigation exercises, most soldiers cannot avoid the fate of horland-ing (losing your way). So what do soldiers do when they are in a state of desperation, dispair, and anxiety? We sleep.
A good nap certainly has its benefits! For that one hour or so meeting my ancestors online, my mind had certainly refreshed a lot more! At least I can analyse what's wrong with my computer with more patience and composure. I can even feel that my cheek had lost some of its swelling!
I decided to give my comp on last try before I packed it up in a box. Surprisingly, it managed to continue with installation after the dreaded stage! I was so happy that I switched on my brother's comp and played maplestory while it was taking its own sweet time to install.
There were no hitches for the installation this time, until after the part when it was supposed to reboot after copying the files. I wasn't paying full attention to my comp now. My fighter had an experience of 90++% so I was more interested in pushing it to 100% and level up! Of course I still did the routine peek over the shoulder to check on my monitor to see whether the installation had reached a point whereby I had to type something on the keyboard.
At 91%, I checked. The comp was in the MS-DOS screen always seen when I first switched on the comp. So I thought it would take a couple of minutes before it loaded into windows. I resumed with my game.
At 92%, I checked again. The comp was still in MS-DOS mode. Shouldn't it be in windows already? Nvm, play a bit more.
At 93%, I checked again! This time I saw for myself what went wrong. The comp restarted right in front of my eyes! It seemed like it would automatically restart the moment it tried to enter windows. Out of fustration I switched off my comp and continued to play my game.
At 98%, I decided to give my comp another try. Surprisingly it managed without a hitch and went right into the windows desktop which we are all so familiar with. At this stage it would be pointless to carry on with my game because there were a lot of drivers and programs to install.
Off with my brother's comp and back to the hot seat.
It doesn't take an idiot to realise that something was terribly wrong when it took 1 minute to open "my computer" on a freshly installed Winxp. Worse, some drivers that usually took less a minute to install now took 3-4 minutes! Would there ever be an end to my comp's woes?
Finally I made up my mind to buy a new comp. So the first step was to open internet explorer (which took 3 minutes from depressing the icon to the loading of the browser window), type "sim lim square price list" in google search and click the relavant links.
As I surfed through the catalogs of pricelists, somehow I felt a need to pay tribute to my comp via this blog which I started yesterday. Despite its fickleness today, it had served me throughout my university days. It was the only source of entertainment in my otherwise stifled hostel room. It accompanied me through many CS, Warcraft 3, Diablo 2, Dota sessions I had with my hostel mates. It even worked tirelessly for me while I virtually had it going for 24/7 when I was rushing through my thesis. It was also there for me when I had to download lecture notes online via IVLE. With all these fond memories in mind, I typed "www.blogspot.com" in the url of my current browser. Dramatically enough, it locked down the moment I pressed the "-> Go" button. Now my comp is refusing entry to windows again. Even with the occasional success, its performance would be an insult to a P4 2.26 Ghz.
I had decided to let my comp die with honour than live with disgrace. Repairing is not cost effective because I had just sent it for repairs 2 months ago during december 05. Its fickleness will only cost more in the long run, so might as well sent it to sim lim for a major overhaul. But it wouldn't be now because I'm on MC and my face is still swollen. Maybe people who have a fetish for puffer fish or toad skill will come up to me and give me a peck on my cheek. Otherwise I would consider myself a social hazard to kids.
This blog was written on my bro's comp.
So long now, old friend!
The first signs of its fraility began in the morning when I was surfing the net. Suddenly
its performance slowed to a very uncomfortable lag. It took 30 odd seconds just to display the pop up window when I right clicked my mouse.
Determined not to give up on my comp so easily, (since it revived many times over the past year after some formats and troubleshooting), I decided to use the first law of computer resuscitation. Ctrl+Alt+Del! Guess what? It seemed to acquire a certain immunity towards even the most potent weapon used during troubleshooting back in the MS-DOS days. Since my comp was developing some form of pleasure staring at me right in the face, manually rebooting it by the reset button was a necessity.
The same old lag didn't go away with a reboot. While it used to take a couple of minutes to boot up into windows with all startups loaded, this time it took more than 10 minutes! Even after a few restarts by the reset button, (the comp would not respond to the Ctrl+Alt+Del option anymore) it only went from far to worse. The record timing for a startup was 25 minutes! Omg! What's wrong with my comp? Never surf porn also kena virus meh?
Realising that my comp was capable of everything but functioning properly, I decided that my hard disk deserves a refreshing shower. FORMAT! Finally going to format my comp for the first time since I left university! I thought that would be a universal solution to all problems, be it virus attack, worms, trojan horse, whatever fuck hackers can do to your comp. So as I gingerly inserted my Winxp CD and finished with the formatting of my comp, I heaved a big sigh of relief. Everything's going to be ok! The only chore left to do was the long process of installing the drivers, programs, and GAMES.
Suddenly, as the installation came to the "loading windows setup" stage, my comp shut down! What happened??? I thought it was a random error, so I restarted the whole installation process. It took me 3 tries before I realised that the automatic shut down during installation wasn't any random error. In fact, it was a critical error. Even after using other copies of Winxp disks (I had more that 1 backup of Winxp installation CD), the same error appeared as well. Even with the disks of Win2000, WinME, Win98, Win95, WinNT 4.0, the same error appeared!
Is there a jester in my comp today?
Nearing my wits' end now, I decided to go for a nap! Haha you must be wondering how would I find the mood to sleep at this moment of fired up passion and dispair? hmmm... The only explanation I could give was that such behavior was moulded by the army, especially when you are out in the field. E.g. during navigation exercises, most soldiers cannot avoid the fate of horland-ing (losing your way). So what do soldiers do when they are in a state of desperation, dispair, and anxiety? We sleep.
A good nap certainly has its benefits! For that one hour or so meeting my ancestors online, my mind had certainly refreshed a lot more! At least I can analyse what's wrong with my computer with more patience and composure. I can even feel that my cheek had lost some of its swelling!
I decided to give my comp on last try before I packed it up in a box. Surprisingly, it managed to continue with installation after the dreaded stage! I was so happy that I switched on my brother's comp and played maplestory while it was taking its own sweet time to install.
There were no hitches for the installation this time, until after the part when it was supposed to reboot after copying the files. I wasn't paying full attention to my comp now. My fighter had an experience of 90++% so I was more interested in pushing it to 100% and level up! Of course I still did the routine peek over the shoulder to check on my monitor to see whether the installation had reached a point whereby I had to type something on the keyboard.
At 91%, I checked. The comp was in the MS-DOS screen always seen when I first switched on the comp. So I thought it would take a couple of minutes before it loaded into windows. I resumed with my game.
At 92%, I checked again. The comp was still in MS-DOS mode. Shouldn't it be in windows already? Nvm, play a bit more.
At 93%, I checked again! This time I saw for myself what went wrong. The comp restarted right in front of my eyes! It seemed like it would automatically restart the moment it tried to enter windows. Out of fustration I switched off my comp and continued to play my game.
At 98%, I decided to give my comp another try. Surprisingly it managed without a hitch and went right into the windows desktop which we are all so familiar with. At this stage it would be pointless to carry on with my game because there were a lot of drivers and programs to install.
Off with my brother's comp and back to the hot seat.
It doesn't take an idiot to realise that something was terribly wrong when it took 1 minute to open "my computer" on a freshly installed Winxp. Worse, some drivers that usually took less a minute to install now took 3-4 minutes! Would there ever be an end to my comp's woes?
Finally I made up my mind to buy a new comp. So the first step was to open internet explorer (which took 3 minutes from depressing the icon to the loading of the browser window), type "sim lim square price list" in google search and click the relavant links.
As I surfed through the catalogs of pricelists, somehow I felt a need to pay tribute to my comp via this blog which I started yesterday. Despite its fickleness today, it had served me throughout my university days. It was the only source of entertainment in my otherwise stifled hostel room. It accompanied me through many CS, Warcraft 3, Diablo 2, Dota sessions I had with my hostel mates. It even worked tirelessly for me while I virtually had it going for 24/7 when I was rushing through my thesis. It was also there for me when I had to download lecture notes online via IVLE. With all these fond memories in mind, I typed "www.blogspot.com" in the url of my current browser. Dramatically enough, it locked down the moment I pressed the "-> Go" button. Now my comp is refusing entry to windows again. Even with the occasional success, its performance would be an insult to a P4 2.26 Ghz.
I had decided to let my comp die with honour than live with disgrace. Repairing is not cost effective because I had just sent it for repairs 2 months ago during december 05. Its fickleness will only cost more in the long run, so might as well sent it to sim lim for a major overhaul. But it wouldn't be now because I'm on MC and my face is still swollen. Maybe people who have a fetish for puffer fish or toad skill will come up to me and give me a peck on my cheek. Otherwise I would consider myself a social hazard to kids.
This blog was written on my bro's comp.
So long now, old friend!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Wisdom tooth!
I had just removed my wisdom tooth yesterday (140206). That had created quite a hoo ha in my unit because I was able to skip one week of outfield training. For the benefit of those who hasn't served NS before, let me tell you the whole story.
Our company was supposed to support 3 Guards Battalion in their full troop exercise for this whole week as enemies. Fortunately for me, my secondary school friend called me up for a wisdom tooth extraction. (He is a final dentistry student at NUH now.) And even more good fortune to come, my PC actually allowed me to go! Woo hoo! This appointment couldn't be more timely.
To be honest I had actually turned down my friend a couple of times earlier because then I was either on course or had guard duty. However, I knew that I couldn't turn him down forever because he needs to perform on patients so that he could be graded and eventually graduate.
Since I was free yesterday, I decided to answer his call for once. Anyway according to him, that tooth ,"doesn't help in chewing and only serves to accumulate more bacteria to cause the decay of the tooth in front of it."
Sounds like a liability isn't it?
The whole procedure wasn't very painful, and it's very cheap! Only $36++! I heard from my friends that they had paid close to $400 for the same surgery. Of course I had to take the risk of letting an apprentice operate on me. Fortunately he was a lot more pro than I had expected. Phew!
A few hours later...
Real agony set in! The immediate few hours after the surgery was the most unbearable. The wound would bleed constantly because the blood around there was trying to clot. So my mouth was full of blood every now and then. I could actually feel my pulse around the wound. So disgusting!
One day later...
Alright! The bleeding had finally stopped! But I ended up with a very huge swelling.
Our company was supposed to support 3 Guards Battalion in their full troop exercise for this whole week as enemies. Fortunately for me, my secondary school friend called me up for a wisdom tooth extraction. (He is a final dentistry student at NUH now.) And even more good fortune to come, my PC actually allowed me to go! Woo hoo! This appointment couldn't be more timely.
To be honest I had actually turned down my friend a couple of times earlier because then I was either on course or had guard duty. However, I knew that I couldn't turn him down forever because he needs to perform on patients so that he could be graded and eventually graduate.
Since I was free yesterday, I decided to answer his call for once. Anyway according to him, that tooth ,"doesn't help in chewing and only serves to accumulate more bacteria to cause the decay of the tooth in front of it."
Sounds like a liability isn't it?
The whole procedure wasn't very painful, and it's very cheap! Only $36++! I heard from my friends that they had paid close to $400 for the same surgery. Of course I had to take the risk of letting an apprentice operate on me. Fortunately he was a lot more pro than I had expected. Phew!
A few hours later...
Real agony set in! The immediate few hours after the surgery was the most unbearable. The wound would bleed constantly because the blood around there was trying to clot. So my mouth was full of blood every now and then. I could actually feel my pulse around the wound. So disgusting!
One day later...
Alright! The bleeding had finally stopped! But I ended up with a very huge swelling.
Ok I sound a bit narcissistic here. Anyway I'm still in the bloated stage right now. Will post a copy of myself without the swell soon!
Ah Lang
Ah Lang starts to blog???
I had never envisaged the idea that I will create a web log one day, especially when I'm a person who doesn't pay much attention to the minute details of my life.
So what had caused the change in me? Maybe it's because I have been reading blogs belonging to friends and celebrity bloggers e.g. xiaxue. Blogging actually allows people pay attention and reflect on the small little things they do in their lives. Isn't that cool? Somehow living a life without realising what was done would be a terrible waste of life! And since I'm serving NS now, it doesn't harm to take up a hobby (which puts my newly bought Canon Ixus 50 camera to good use!)
So here I am, writing on my debut post in this hopefully extensive blog in time to come. This blog is not for fame or fortune, and it's definitely not to live my life vicariously in an online fantasy. It's for me to reflect and pay more significance on my life. If it helps you understand me, then all the better!
Ah Lang
So what had caused the change in me? Maybe it's because I have been reading blogs belonging to friends and celebrity bloggers e.g. xiaxue. Blogging actually allows people pay attention and reflect on the small little things they do in their lives. Isn't that cool? Somehow living a life without realising what was done would be a terrible waste of life! And since I'm serving NS now, it doesn't harm to take up a hobby (which puts my newly bought Canon Ixus 50 camera to good use!)
So here I am, writing on my debut post in this hopefully extensive blog in time to come. This blog is not for fame or fortune, and it's definitely not to live my life vicariously in an online fantasy. It's for me to reflect and pay more significance on my life. If it helps you understand me, then all the better!
Ah Lang
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)