Simple Man, Simple Life.

Given the month long holiday derived from clearing leave, my blog ought to be flourishing. Unfortunately the contrary was true. I had ample of time but the same could not be said for my inspirations. A blog drought would be an appropriate term to explain this phenomenon.

Comfort dulls the mind indeed.

There were more pressing things to be done in place of blogging. My NUS transcript had to be prepared before I start work in NIE, my passport to be renewed, unpack my duffel bag... Those were considered chores.

As for leisure activities, I rented books to decorate my table, and met up with friends whom otherwise I seldom got the chance to. (Tuesday dinner with Bollocks, Wednesday K box with hostel friends, Friday dinner with Math Honours classmates, Saturday lunch with my Godsister.) In between those I went shopping with mum and had dinner at Crystal Jade with my sister (real one) and her boyfriend. I had also brought my brother to watch X-Men at Tiong Bahru GV.

Those were my exploits away from home.

As for the other weeks spent at home, I lived life like a wastrel. I no longer wake up at 0600 hours. My actual waking hours would be 5 hours later or so. I eat 2 meals a day (Brunch and Dinner), and I don't exercise. On certain days at my disgusting best, I would play dota from lunch till bed time!

In case anyone thought I was the ultimate loafer around, the saving grace was that I became a MR.

MR as in MaRia.

Maria Khoo would wash the bowls and plates after the meals, vacuum and mop the floor, buy lunch for his brother, keep and fold the laundry, and PACK THE MESSY ROOM (Pigsty) which once belonged to me but was desecrated by my stupid brother over the years I spent away from home.

Let me dwell into the life of Maria.

#1. Wash Bowls.
Soap the forks and spoons first, and wash them off with water above the bowls. The water collected could be used to rinse the other crockery, thus saving water. Soap the crockery and then wash with water. The clean water from the final wash was then poured into a pail for storage.

#2. Vacuuming + Mopping the Floor.
After becoming a pro with brooms from area cleanings in the morning, a vacuum cleaner was a god send! The floor became so much cleaner and easier to clean!

Do not mop the floor WITHOUT ordering KSH (my brother's intials) to wash his feet, unless you want black footprints to emblazon the path where the mighty one once walked.

Tips for homemakers to be : 1 cupful of mop solution in a pail would create too much foam to mop the floor effectively. 1/2 a cup would wonderful.

#3. Brunch
To save money, I stock up on cereals and milk for breakfast. However when my stock got depleted by the freeloader, he would preempt my money saving attempts by dialling for Macdonald breakfast... (Now I know how $10 notes grow wings.)

The Cai Fan (assorted rice) at the kopi tiam downstairs sells for $2.70 for 1 meat, 1 egg, and 1 vege. Not a bad deal for the convenience. But my personal favourite would still be the lasi lemak stall at Tanjong Pagar Hawker Centre. $2.00 for a big packet of rice and meat!

#4. Folding and Keeping Laundry
Just don't fold them like SAF number 4 can already, because there are no ranks, name tags, and guards tabs to display in a ziploc bag or in the cupboard for any black man to see. I would hang my clothes in my cupboard neatly, and throw KSH's ones all over the floor.

#5. PACK THE FUSTRATING ROOM.
Pictures say a thousand words. When I first took over the room after returning from the army, it looked like this:

There was very little space left to maneuver, bed sheets were not laid, and the study table was filled with rubbish instead of books. KSH had abused the table until it became a storage place for his Gundam models instead of a place for him to do his work.

I had to plan a massive refurbishing to rectify the intolerable. Walking space was scarce, and dust was collecting on his trash which were unmoved for years! I had enough of this nonsense. My room was supposed to be a place of comfort satisfying a whole range of purposes like providing a good sleeping environment, training ground for my dribbling skills, exercise area, and study haven.

KSH had ruined them all.

I got down to work immediately. Fortunately SK training in SAF had helped me become more robust towards sickening chores. Synonymous with the ritual that signified my determined intentions at the start of any endeavour,

I took off my shirt and flexed my muscles.

The table (as well as his bag loads of Gundam models) had to go. Easier said than done. The table was too large for the door, and had to be disassembled into its original components for disposal.

For a guy like me with little patience, the fuss of unscrewing all the bolts and nuts was too much to take. I picked up karate on the spot and smashed the fragile wooden planks into halves. That really sped things up and freed up acres of spaces. Then came the unenviable task of arranging his old textbooks properly and folding his clothes that were sprawled all over the place.

Finally after much hard work, my room looked a lot better! Isn't that wonderful?

Just as I was rejoicing...

The monster wreaked havoc again!

I should have known better. Who could resist the temptation to mess up a newly packed room? (Especially it was the from the painstaking efforts of his brother.)

As I stood there shell shocked and close to tears, the state of my room a direct reflection of my mood.

Back to work as usual...

Finally, my room is neater and tidier than before!

I had to be fair to my much maligned brother. The previous 4 pictures were posed (Beginning from the one with KSH in it). I was the one who messed up the room and took a picture of it. I was the one who asked my brother to strike that silly pose. I was the one who pretended to be the mature and sensible brother folding the blanket.

Both of us had nothing better to do, so we decided to have some fun by messing up the room. It had been a years since I had so much fun with KSH. He had been a P4 kid when I first left home for army, and now he is a towering sec 3 adolescent (I'm still taller than you ok!) So glad to have him hanging around during my leave. Home alone for 1 month would be unbearable.

However, it was a real chore motivating him to study during his hols.

In the end I gave up trying. He had been working hard during school to be fair. Let him have some rest and slack for a couple of weeks.

Ideally for me, one month of slacking would apt. Anything longer than that and I would reproach myself for being a bum. Anything shorter and the effect of a rest would not be felt.

As this month draws to a close, I would have to gear myself up for many things. A new life in the working world, and of course the world cup! I would miss this holiday for a long time to come. Not only because I was a simple man living a simple life, but

My life had been brilliant.