Go Back

God is faithful, as he has always been.

I have been troubled by bouts of unease recently, by the football team I'm training. Always thinking of strategies to win, which schools we could or should not play friendlies with (for fear of exposing our tactics), what other positions can I play them in, what ways to train them to improve faster.

Suddenly the bug of competition is getting to me. I've become obsessed with winning, or at least, obsessed with results. This vested interest in this tournament is drawing me away from my initial objectives.

Let's not forget the blessings that the Lord has given.

I wished we had 15 names so that we are eiligible for A girls. God has provided 5 new players. In total we have 15. Not a player extra or nor a player lacking.

I wished we had players to fill the void in the current team. God has provided a keeper, a right winger, two reserve defenders, and a reserve striker. All that I had asked for, and reserves for my players who have been injured before.

If I were to list down my first eleven, I have 11 players who can play in their positions. We have a good team this year.

Back in december last year, I could only wish for having a team like what I have now.

The Lord has indeed shown how faithful He has always been.

But the greed of wanting more has turned my gratitude into thirst. I am not satisfied with the numbers I have. I am not satisfied with the games coming out way. Not satisfied with a lot of things. All these is getting pointless. This vested interest in becoming a sin.

I confessed my uncomfort to God today, and He revealed so many things that I wasn't aware of. He showed me the sin that I was bearing in my heart. The sin of greed, of becoming too interested in the affairs of winning and losing, i.e. affairs of the world.

He also told me that this is not my team, but His. I am only helping Him look after it. He has the best plans for this team, and whichever oppponent comes our way, be them within our group or not, He will decide what will happen. As long as I don't hold on to the team, He will shower them with His blessings. All that I cling to, I lay at His feet.

Finally, the one last advice He revealed to me, was to "Go Back".

Go back to the scene when I met the players for the first time.

It was a wednesday during OP assessment week last year. There were 4 players who turned up then. Emily, Leena, Shiyun, Audrey. Midzung came later. When I saw Midzung kick a ball for the first time, she was terrible. No touches, no shin pads, no proper boots! Just a clumsy player who didn't know how to play football.

I made them play instep passes who day long and then a short monkey session.

After the training session, I was thinking to myself. "This is terrible. No rapport with the players, their skills cannot make it, their numbers are not enough, is it worth the investment in time to train them?"

And the Lord spoke to me immediately.

"Do not judge, unless you want to be judged as well. If you remain faithful, I will turn them into a great nation!"

Look at my players now. The same clumsy player who I thought could do nothing, beat a defender and keeper and scored today. She was also the one who chased and never gave up.

My DM used to be very quiet, shirked penalty responsibilities, and non-vocal. Now she assumes that she is first in line for a penalty and commands the other players.

Back then I was facing the same ucertainties that I am facing now. Not enough players, not knowing which direction to go, not knowing what to do. I did the right thing then. I trusted the Lord in my time of need. And that got me fired up for the Lord. Now I am going to do the same thing. Just trust in Him and not worry about anything else.

Because I remembered what I said to Him then:

"God I am at a lost. I don't know what I should do. I don't know how things will turn out. I don't know what plans You have for us. I don't expect any results or even participation in the A girls tournament. I sincerely really just want to help these students so that I have something to write in their school graduation cert."

And He told me:

"Don't worry son, you will have bountiful to write in their SGCs, and they will be overflowing with righteousness!"

It was then that I got struck. Their SGCs are what mattered to me. Not results, not A girls, not trophies.

Praise the Lord for revealing what mattered to me most!

And this I thank You in your power and grace, then and now, in Jesus's almighty Name.

Amen!