Eat Snake

I think I gave myself too much pressure already. Pressure to do well.

Play soccer too stressed. Cannot concede. Cannot express myself. Yes even if I managed to keep a clean sheet forever I will not be happy either. Satisfaction yes, but enjoyment no. Because it is just too stressful to concentrate every game.

Legs are aching. Don't have much time left in my legs. Must enjoy every game. Concede a few goals is ok. Just enjoy the game, play to my true standard and nothing else matters. Besides,

taking that 30 metre blaster was so gratifying.

Too stressed over the workload at school too. Need to do this, need to do that. Sigh. If all in my mind is just trying to cover whatever work that is to be done in the future, when will this cycle ever stop? Hols? When I retire? Or when I die?

I think I should just concentrate on thinking of how to eat snake. At least when I had enjoyed myself to the extent, the guilt of not doing work will provide enough momentum to sustain me through the task. And eating snake is less taxing on the mind.

Eating snake does not mean I am no longer concerned about her. Just that I don't see the need to contact her so often that I felt is becoming harassment. No space to breathe. Not fresh topics to talk about. No element of surprise. Nothing refreshing. Things become stale when there is too much contact maybe? At least at this stage when we are only friends, just let things take its course. Sometimes trying too hard only adds to the pressure, and things backfire.

I had learnt for myself the lessons of trying too hard. I saw a young pe teacher trying very hard to conduct an enjoyable training session for the girls team. At the end the students appreciated his efforts but still kept a polite distance due to his over-eagerness.

I wasn't very friendly towards my hockey team throughout last sem. But I just did whatever that has to be done at the right time for them. And they appreciated them too. Even though I am not their T/IC now, at least the exco will still say hello to me whenever they see me around, cos they are the ones whom I had interacted most with, and knows what I had done.

So I should just do the appropriate things at the right time and let things develop naturally? :)

And what should I do in the meantime to occupy my thoughts when I don't contact her so often?

To think of ways to east snake of course, as a form to constantly rejuvenate the brain.

And this entry will never be possible if I am not eating snake now.