Returning to church somehow gives a mixed feeling. Gladness because I finally found peace in life. Yet, it also brings about some sadness in me.
Sadness as in, some of my pre-believer friends are starting to shun me because they have an impression that all Christians are evangelistic. While I gained lots of new friends in church, I am also losing some outside church, just by their impression of Christianity.
One friend even asked me, "Are you talking to me now because you feel that I have the "potential" to be converted?"
It hurts, but I pray that they might know of this grace someday.
I could still remember very vividly, how the Lord's hands picked up the shattered pieces of the kingdom of ah lang, and said to me.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9.
He gave me peace in life.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:7.
He is the rock that I stand on, the source of my confidence in life.
"He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalms 62:2.
He taught me to honor my parents despite me not totally respecting them.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12.
He told me to give wisely with respect to the constraints I have, so that I may give happily.
"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Cor 9:7.
He never fails to encourage me whenever I am feeling low.
"From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe."
Psalms 61:2-3.
He gave me hope in life.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.
He taught me to start doing good works.
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Tim 3:16-17.
He blessed me with a skill for guitar playing and singing songs!
"Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs." Psalms 100:2
He has taught me not to resolve things spitefully, or to create more tension, just to get back at others to do myself justice.
"Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:18
But most importantly He gave me this promise, when I finally realised all I had achieved in my life have been meaningless.
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5.
Can you feel God's love tonight?
