Monday, January 12, 2009

Lord bless my football girls

I was very touched by my players today.

Told them to do a 3v3 AvD drill. My captain was full of running. She was so earnest and robust, she took on the whole defence on her own countless times.

Her speed, strength, and footwork has improved tremendously in just over one month. I really couldn't believe it, until I saw for my own eyes!

Even my DM has improved a lot. You look at the way they cheong you know. There was fire in her running. They want to score.

My DC came despite the doc telling her that she has a loose ACL. What else could I expect from her? She is risking their limbs to play!

Somehow, girls (and women) have this stubborn threshold of pain that eclispes boys (and men). They want something so badly, they just endure all pain and push on.

Respect.

I just want to thank God for inheriting this bunch of passionate players, and please bless them with your grace, don't let them get injured.

And of course, bless this team with enough players from the incoming J1 cohort so that we can send an 'A' girls team.

So that their efforts and sacrifices will not be in vain.

So that they can realise their dreams!

Hallelujah!

http://www.imeem.com/sarahgaile08/music/eLqZRl4Z/hillsongs_for_all_youve_done/

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Self-Centeredness

Psalm 10:4-15
4"In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."

5"His ways are always prosperous; he is haughty and Your laws are far from him; he sneers at all his enemies."

6"He says to himself, "Nothing will shake me; I'll always be happy and never have trouble."

12"Arise, Lord! Lift up Your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless."

15"Break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out."

Lord I pray for You to help me break the most wicked man that I have ever known. He who sinned of being self-centered for all his twenty seven years.

And that man is me.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

A Simple Story

Just heard somewhere and would like to share.

Once upon a time there was a man. He didn’t believe in God or Jesus. He would often say, “since god is so almighty and powerful, why did he come down to earth and become a mortal? Isn’t he stupid?” And so he didn’t bother to follow his wife and children to church. His wife got tired of persuading the negative him, and let him be, albeit much disappointment.

One Christmas morning his wife packed their kids in the car and drove off to service, and left him all alone in the house on a cold morning. He was cool about it, and snuggled in the cosy fireplace.

Suddenly, he heard slamming sounds on the window. Upon inspection he realized it was a flock of migratory geese caught in a storm. The geese were swept away from their flight path into the man’s house. The man was upset, and wanted to save them. He used a variety of strategies.

Strategy #1: Mass Appeal
He opened the door of his barn and fluttered his arms wildly like a mad chicken, all in the hope that those geese would fly in. They didn’t.

Strategy #2: Temptation
He placed some food as bait inside the barn. Hoping the geese would buy the trick. They didn’t.

Strategy #3: Brute Force
He picked up a large his fork and tried sweeping all of the into the barn. This only succeeded in scaring them even further. The geese just fluttered around the farm in a wild mess and none got into the barn.

The farmer was lost. He was hurt. He really wanted to save them. Suddenly he thought of a brilliant idea.

Strategy #4:
He picked up a geese which he reared, hung it over his back, and ran through the flock of wild geese. The geese saw one of their kind flying towards safety, and all followed suit into the barn! The man lay seated on the ground, witnessing the sight of the geese flying into his barn. It was then he realized why God wanted to become mortal and walked the earth with man. The man knelt down and gave thanks, and followed his wife and children to church regularly after that!

If the man hadn’t “become” a geese, the rest of the geese wouldn’t have followed him. If God didn’t become a man and suffer with man, man would never have believed Him.

God never tried to appeal to you, never tried to tempt you, never tried to force you to believe in Him. The only way used to convince us was to suffer with us by sending his most precious Son to us, for us, so that we would realize how sinful we are and how righteous He is. (Sending his Son to earth is the same as God “becoming” mortal to suffer with us, because according to John 10:30, “I and the Father are one.”)

How many times in our lives did we respect the army officer who sat down and cleaned the motorbikes with us instead of ordering us to do stuff, the teacher who came down and gave you consultation instead of forever being busy, the boss who would teach you things instead of telling you to do it and expect results?

God gave up something precious to Him for us.

Imagine the feelings of the many parents as they were leaving Tekong ferry terminal on the first day of enlistment of their precious sons. Cannot bear to leave their sons. Most would even want to suffer in the place of their sons.

But all we did was to shame, humiliate, and even slaughter Jesus in His journey to save our souls.

How would the parents, siblings, and friends feel if the PCs, PSs, and Sect Comd were to shame, humiliate, and even slaughter their sons/brothers/friends in the course of training? How would the parents of the recently beaten up SAF recruit feel?

Jesus suffered so much in the hope that we would talk to Him. In the hope that we would ask from Him all that He would gladly give us. In the hope that we would obey His plans and will for us.

Wouldn’t you just hope for someone to walk with you instead of telling what to do?
Mark 6:31
“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Aren’t you sick of all the pain in life and its many suffering?
Romans 5:3-4
“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Aren’t you tired of so much darkness?
John 8:12
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Aren’t you tired of being a negative and pessimistic person, always waiting for things to happen, not proactive, not positive in trying to achieve what you want to achieve?
Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you"

Disappointed that life does not go well for you, work, love, or health?
1 John 1:15-17
“Do not love the world or anything in the name of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desire pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

Lacked some encouragement, assurance, and delight in you, such that it is killing your self-esteem?
Zephaniah 3:17
“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

So heartbroken that you wanted to cry?
Psalm 147:3
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Actually, all we needed to do is to ask for forgiveness and happiness! That’s all!
Mark 11:24
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
John 16:24
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."

Because what He wants to give us is something money cannot buy.
John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Ultimately, if we receive all that He wants to give us, the future that He promised is full of hope and light!
John 1:51
“I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”
Zephaniah 3:20
“At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home.”

With this I shall say a prayer for you, since it is by divine appointment that you have stumbled onto this blog entry!

Dear God,
I praise You because of how mighty and loving You are. I want to pray for whoever reads this blog entry. I pray for their well-being, and I hope you would bless them with Your grace, whether they are believers of non-believers. Even if they are non-believers, that does not disqualify them from being Your Children! Some of them might be in deep physical pain, others emotional pain. Please shower them with Your grace and blessings, heal them in Your will, and guide them towards the happiness that he or she is looking for, towards fulfilled lives and satisfaction!

And all these I pray and ask for in Jesus’s name.

Amen.

Would you like to sing this song together?
http://www.imeem.com/jubz/music/BhrAoXs_/hillsong_how_great_is_our_god/

How Great is Our God

The splendor of a King
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names
Worthy of our praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Season of Giving

Just experienced a very warm gesture last Thursday.

I was supposed to attend a Christmas party the following day, and being the last minute person I am, shopping for a present for the gift exchange only on the day before.

Selecting a present was not as tedious as searching for a place to wrap it. I was fortunate enough to notice a lady wrapping something up as I passed her shop. Without hesitation I went in.

She took some spare wrapping paper and got to work. It was an exquisite job. She deserved a few good dollars for her work.

"Here you go, you don't have to pay!"

Huh? I don't know whether I was stupid or what, but I couldn't understand what she said intially. I just couldn't believe it.

"Are you sure you don't want money for it?"

"Yup. Just treat it as a small gift from me. This is a season of giving. Merry Christmas!"

At that moment, I just couldn't bear to give away the present. It had some genuine love inside. But Keeping it to myself would defeat the purpose of the season of giving, and the lady's intentions.

I just hope the recipient would like it.

Coincidence or otherwise, the recipient declared aloud during the party that she needed what I got for her! It was just so divinely sweet.

I didn't spend much on that present, nor did I receive a very expensive gift either, but I got something that money couldn't buy.

The gift of experiencing true Christmas - The Season of Giving.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Football vs Marathon

I never felt comfortable with myself on this day of the year. The day where the marathon's in town. Somehow there is a ego thing in myself telling me to go for my second marathon.

In style.

My first marathon wasn't such a pleasant experience. I vowed to make my second one good. Finish it below 5 hours. But maybe because of such a perfect target that turned me away from it.

Marathons also caused too much trauma to the feet, such that football is affected for a while. It took me half a year to shake off the archilles tendon problem from the first marathon.

But I didn't have time to consider all these this morning. There was an important game that would decide whether our team finishes third in the league. We had to win to leapfrog the current third placed team, who also happened to be our opponents today.

The score went like, 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2, 3-2 in our favour! We ran out winners!

The goals we conceded were soft. I conceded the first by giving away a penalty.

Second goal was a misjudgement by the keeper. Sigh. Moreover there was less than 5 mins left in the game. The opponents were so relieved and exhilarated to get the equalizer. They congratulated one another and even taunted our manager! (So childish).

We were frustrated. We didn't deserve to lose this game. And we definitely didn't deserve to suffer all their taunts and rough tackles.

In the next attacking move that followed, our attacking mid dispossessed their DM, fed the ball to our striker, who rounded the keeper before an emphatic finish with his left foot into an empty goal!

Everyone was like, crazy after that goal! The scorer was running around with both his fists clenched and raised sky high, my defensive partner was doing some obscene celebration with his crotch (which caught me off guard! I never expected him to be... Alright, never judge a book by its cover in future). Everyone else was crazy! Shouting and screaming and running around like mad men. I could only squat and laughed like mad. The image of his erotic celebration was too much for me to bear.

My manager was cursing, swearing, and taunting at the opponents.

Of course, he attracted enough attention to distract the opponents to continue with the game. They game out in full force to form a circle around him.

A good game ended in a fight, and had to be stopped because of it.

But this was a fantastic game nonetheless, due to the following reasons!

1) Something was at stake (third place and trophy and medals),
2) See-saw game. (Led twice and two equalisers)
3) Emphatic winner on our side, right at the dead.
4) Low class opponents.
5) Match ended up in a fight.

After the game no one went off right away like the usual days. Everyone stayed back to talk about it. We even went for a drink after that.

Now come to think of it. Either way I would have a sense of achievement this morning. If I were to run an marathon, the feeling of finishing 42.195km would be an overwhelming experience, but,

games of today's nature can never be as pre-mediated as a marathon. Marathon is just train and run, push your body to your limits, and you'll finish it. Football is, coping with crisis together, and celebrating together when such an emphatic goal came right at the end!

I'm glad to have been at the game today, and honoured to do the write up for our team, for the weekend warrior section of the Newpaper.

Running is lonely. Football is company.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Fight to the Death

I've met lots of great lads over the years playing football. They taught me via football, how to be a better person. Some lessons stayed with me, others I ditched, and others I am not even aware existed.

Something recently that reminded stirred anger within myself, anger at myself.

Personally I didn't know LT very well. But he's a born fighter. He had amazing techinque, and also a sense of mind to beat others.

Before he got injured, he was the complete player. Fast, skillful, calm, he could win matches by himself. And he had determination.

After all these years, all the battering on his limbs, he had to call it quits too.

Yet, he put on a jersey when we were down and out. He took so much to score and equalise while I conceded goals to repay that. He stuck his foot in where it hurt while I was scared to make a sliding tackle.

Last weekend I saw how the opponents ganged on him and gave him another crushing tackle. Thank goodness he did not get injured, but, I didn't go in and show them my studs.

I am so fucking pissed off and embarrassed with myself. I had lost it, the single quality that made me a great defender then.

I'm afraid to die now, when I wasn't in the past.

Too much of a camper. Too much of a wimp. I used to think people who go all out without consequences were idiots. Now I learnt to admire them.

I do have planning skills.

Now I need to fight to the end, fight to the death.

Fight to the end to get in the sky!

Fight to the end to find my happiness!

Fight to lift people around me up!

There's no point having a life if you don't fight to the death.

So do you wanna be my friend?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Football Inspiration

Last friday I went for a goalkeeping workshop organised by East Zone COE. Wonder why on earth would an outfield player would attend a goalkeeper's course.

Of course, I had to learn something abotu goalkeeping because there are no goalkeeping coaches in school.

The instructor was a middle aged man. He put on a collar shirt with a Singapore crest on it. I thought that was the standard practice on all FAS staffs' outfits.

"Good morning gentlemen, I am Bee Seng."

Oh my God! Lee Bee Seng! The national goalkeeping coach! Today's my lucky day!

Though he didn't really go through a lot of content with us, I think I got inspired by what he could do at his age.

I always thought football is for lads in their twenties. Once past 30, I should hang up my boots.

Lee Bee Seng showed us otherwise.

He was good. The way he fed the balls to the young lions keeper was so... Undescribable.

"Foot!"

"Hip!"

"Chest!"

"Head!"

Wherever he said it, the ball got to the exact body part of the keeper. The way he struck the ball was so crisp, so accurate. It's amazing. Not everyone at my age could do that. To be true, age does not play a factor in ball skills.

How he take his shots was even more incredible! Alright, maybe I had been a frog in a well. Never managed to see high level football in such close contact before. But, the way he struck the ball was so amazing. Power and accuracy into one...

I didn't learn a lot about goalkeeping on that day honestly, but I did realise that if you want to be good, any day would do.

And that influenced how I played my football today.

Two shimmies that made the defender stay on his feet. One instep push that got me into space. One through ball between two defenders. Of course, one first time shot with my left foot that ended up as powerful low drive into the net.

As much as I hated to say the following words, but today warrants them.

I am Good.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

希望の灯り

I had trudged through the forums a bit these days, and after reading all those posts, it did got me motivated and discouraged regularly. These are the few facts that I gathered.

Fact 1: Cost of flight training with MFA is RM180,000!

Fact 2: Cost of training with STATA is USD80,000!

It's crazy, really.

Fact 3: There are currently 200 over CPL/IR holders in malaysia who are not employed in the airlines. They are either not interested or not successful with the airlines.

Fact 4: There are a thousand pilots out of job in France.

Fact 5: There will be a shortage of pilots by 2025?

Self-sponsored pilots do not have much chance... Most airlines will only consider ATPL holders with 1500 hours or more. STATA training and all other flight schools will offer at most up to 200 plus hours. Why spend so much time and money just to improve your MSFS skills?

Sigh. This dream is getting more and more unrealistic.

I did an evaluation on myself too, and these are my strengths and weaknesses.

1) I do have good grades, 'O's, 'A's, and uni. Did physics as well.
2) I am not young.
3) I do not know a lot of aircrafts yet.
4) I am working on my attitude in life.

From all of the above, the only way left is just to apply directly to the cadet pilot programme. That seems to be the only way out. The rest are simply not realistic.

No matter what, I can always take up private flying. I believe I still have the savings to pull it off.

Either way, it'll be an experience of a lifetime.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Dreams and their Costs

Felt quite demoralised reading this section of an aviation forum:

"Those rejected, please dont be upset. There are other airlines out there that may accept you (If you have ATPL and CPL/IR). Personally I feel if you have the determination, you will find your dream job in the cockpit.

However if you have spare cash and willing to go the alternative route http://www.mfa.edu.my/MFA-2006-April-10-CPLIR-Direct.pdf. But be prepared to spend at least SGD$80K to get the ATPL. Then again as a pilot with in the airline you will earn those money back in no time."


I believe that's the normal cost of an ATPL. Even a PPL costs around $30k. Two steps up the ladder (CPL/IR and ATPL) wouldn't cost less than a PPL.

How to come up with $80k? I might as well rob a bank. And by the time I really save up to $80k, I'lll be too old.

Life's never fair. If only I had a sugar daddy.

Sometimes, I'll just get so demoralised and upset after reading these forums. Not enough money, not enough aptitude, eye sight not enough. Too negative. too much worries on the people participating in these forums.

Sometimes I really felt I'm real naive. But yet again, the line between a naive person and a dreamer is very thin. Dreams are not easily achieved ideals anyway. If they were such easily achieved, they wouldn't be called dreams.

But, are you happy with being comfortable and stable all your life/ Are you happy with not steppoing out of the comfort zone for even once? Are you comfortable with not having seen thwe world and not having experienced something exhilarating before?

Have you ever felt really alive?

I'll take things one step at a time. Right now let's look forward to recreational flying.

May the Lord bless my eyes 5 months later with a class 2 medical!

Short term goal: Weekends up in the skies!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Football again.

Had fun today. It had been a while since I played football. In fact, this was the first time I played football since I did lasik.

Ran my heart out. Glad didn't have any injuries. Got out muscled by some players, but some my footwork is still around.

Need to work on my fitness and strength. I can't take on players yet.

Friday, October 31, 2008

A Great Way to Live

I had a few weird dreams lately, all targeted at the core issues of my life. I had been saying a few dejected prayers before sleep these days, and I guess the dreams are His answers to my queries.

One way to tell His answer from your own answer. If the answer in your mind gives you a sense of peace, then the answer is truly a gift from the heavens.

I woke up with some feel of that!

In that dream of mine, I had a confrontation with my boss. (Of all situations to be in.) I was being reprimanded for being performing poorly in my work. There was a lot of tension, and somehow the situation escalated into a quarrel. At the end my boss challenged me to leave, along the lines of "you are free to quit and chase your flying dream!"

Wonder how he knew that. I haven't really told him before... Nevermind. It is just a hypothetical scenario anyway.

Of course I took up the challenge. I quit my job and did my PPL full time without income. It was cool for the first few months, but as the months went by, my savings got depleted.

And finding a job was tough. The ministry wouldn't reinstate me back to a JC. Independent IP schools won't take me into their JC cohort because I have no JC experience. To make it worse, my certifications from my ground examinations expired due to the six month validity period. Everything was just hanging there. Not here and not there in all aspects.

Give PPL up would mean all the money invested will be wasted. Don't give up, and find a way to maintain the course was driving me nuts. There was just a lot of regret and desperation. Even the temp job that I found paid too little to cover anything. Thousand plus a month. Not even enough to make ends meet, how to finish the course?

I was just down and out.

Woke up from that scenario with cold sweat. After a while I went back to sleep again. Fortunately didn't have to go to school on Thursday, that why I could afford to sleep and dream again.

This dream was so much better!

I got selected by SIA as a cadet pilot! And I proved my mettle and worked my way up. From second officer to first officer to finally captain. I became a captain for the A380s, flying from Singapore to Sydney frequently.

It was great. I had a comfortable income, bought a house, saw the world, immense satisfaction of flying a commercial jet, what else? It's the perfect job, the perfect life.

But subsequently over the years, there was lesser and lesser warmth when I returned home. Parents became strangers. My brother moved out and didn't leave any contact behind. My sister got married and had her own family.

And I wasn't around when my parents finally left.

Whenever I returned home, all I had was a big empty house to myself. And whichever part of the world I went to, I'll see people happy with their friends or loved ones, white people, black people, whatever, of all skin colours. I wasn't part of it. I didn't know them. I was a stranger to them, and they were strangers to me.

Even the pilots working with me were not constant. The pilots were rotated frequently. I'll see a new face every now and then in the cockpit. Everyone was trained to follow a company SOP. Pilots are trained to be team players, but they do not stay in the same team...

It was then, that I realised I wanted to stay around. I wanted a job that allowed me to see the same people everyday. I want to see my parents and brother everyday. I want to see my colleagues everyday. I want to see my students everyday.

Sounds like a scene from "Click" the movie.

It was already 9 in the morning when I woke up from both dreams. It was a rainy morning. Cool and refreshing. I thought about those dreams for a while. I seldom remember dreams after I'm awake, but these two were as vivid as life itself.

Lots of thoughts were coursing through my mind then. It was a difficult morning. Finally one thought gave me peace. I believe it was what He was trying to tell me.

1) Love your job.
2) Love the people you get to see everyday.
3) Love the present.
4) Love flying. Use it as a means to lift the spirits of people around me.

Point 4 got me confused stuck for a while, but now I know what He meant.

Flying does not mean a change of job. I do not have to join an airlines to be happy. Just some experience of getting up in the sky would be enough! A PPL would suffice! In fact, a PPL is better because your passengers are in the same cockpit as you, not like a commercial jet.

I... finally found my sense of direction in life... After such a long time.

To help people by lifting them up. To use flying to achieve that aim. To fulfill His aim of saving souls. Everything fits. Everything's in line.

Now just need to put everything in place!

Bless me with a SPL in 5 month's time.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Different Aspects of Life

Work = Sense of purpose?

Football = Feel yourself?

Guitar = Useless.

Home = Negative.

Void. There's a big void.

You can't blame others for the negative things that happened in your life. But, the environment that you grew up in played a huge part in your life views.

Need to pick up and fight once again.

There was once I lost that fighting spirit, because I was satisfied with my comfortable life.

It's time to start all over again.

Fought enough in school. (Physically and academically). Had enough of gladiating and studying.

Fought enough in football. Body can't last forever at that level. Football can't last forever.

Now it's time to fight for my dreams. To breathe the rarefied air.

Away from the negative people. Away from my negative self. Away from the down-to-earth people who are bogged down my reality. Away the people who knows better than being naive. Away from those who are concerned about promotions.

There will only be me, and my bro, who I promised I will take him up there with me.

To give him the motivation that had been lacking in all his life. Evidence that if one persevered, he will achieve his dreams.

So let's just go up. I'll take you there.

We will tear the skies.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Set Back!

Arrived the medical centre today feeling lifted.

Before even everything started, I was informed that I needed to wait for 6 months for the eyesight to stabilise before I could proceed any further.

And I even had to bring along my pre-op records and do a recent check on my eyes for certification purposes.

I used to think they would be the ones doing the checks on the eye, and not an external doctor.

But I'm glad that I am "forced" to wait for half a year before any further actions could be taken. At least now I can focus a bit on my post grad math, and save up some money.

Most importantly, I have time to decide whether I really want to spend so much money and time pursuing an interest.

I think these 6 months would be a good gauge of my interest, whether it is a short-lived or sustained one. Money is not a problem if I could convince myself that the interest is sustained.

So let's just wait and see.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Steps

A lot of times I felt that the pursuit of DTF is a naive, impractical, costly, and most important of all, it does not benefit anyone.

No beneficial value to people. Then why embark on it?

I wonder too. Perhaps, the way it such a pursuit could benefit people would not be about the actualy flying itself, but the journey towards it.

Hopefully after reading my experiences here, you might be able to pick up some learning points. You may feel inspired, amused, or disgusted. But it's just a man's pursuit of his dream, and the sacrifices that he has made.

Hopefully you will be motivated and inspired enough to pursue your dreams too! I had promised a few flights already.

Steps completed so far:
#1 LASIK
#2 Booking of a medical with ST Medical. (Much easier than I thought!)

Hopefully I would have time to elaborately note down the details of each of the steps, cos I felt that they are valuable experiences in their own right.

I wouldn't know howh long I can continue down this path, but I'll be here as long as it goes.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Alright, let's go.

I'm been quite ashamed of myself recently. I think I got obsessed with DTF until I neglected what I am doing now.

I am ashamed of my negative attitude.

From today onwards, none of that will surface again.

I'm going to do well in everything that I am involved in.

Everything is a challenge.

That includes DTF. It is here to stay.

Never give up the things you really want. You never know how life may go.

We can do it!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Conflict of Interests

Recently I was really lifted.

I talked to the Lord again, and I felt so much calmer and at peace.

I had decided to follow his will as well.

And thus, I had a perfectly coincidental event that happened to me, and I believed that was His will.

Mr Ho contacted me after so many years. I received his MSN message while my WMP was playing "Everything" by Misia, and he encouraged me to take up the challenge again to do mathematics.

That I believed, was His intentions for me.

Yet, when I saw the sight of the plane in the sky today, I knew what I want in life.

So which way should I follow?

Can I be greedy and ask for both? Get a Masters in Mathematics and a PPL too? I think as long as it's not commercial flying, private flying is extremely possible as long as I pass the medical.

Masters in Mathematics is definitely within my ability.

I know the answer now. Thank you for your guidance.

Amen!

45 degree bank

Today I saw a single engine aircraft while I was driving along CTE towards SLE.

IT was a magnificent while bird, glistering in the morning sun.

It was landing after a left turn.

The sight of it banking 45 degrees to the left, then bring both wings to level and decending, just felt so majestic.

From then on, I knew no matter how much it costs, how tiring it may be, how many sacrifices I have to make...

I have to get my Private Pilot's Licence!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Last game for 2008

Today's the last football game for 2008. Will be going to fix it up soon, so can't play for 3 months.

Just felt a bit sad, and ashamed of how I played. Lost the ball in stupid positions. Made some rash decisions. Sigh. Am I being too negative again? Or do I have high expectations of myself? Or do I think too highly of myself again?

I'm never going to wear that jersey to play again. It's too stressful.

I think I'm going to miss football, which I never felt this way while I was able to play.

You'll only miss something once you lose it. How true it is.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Anger Management

Need to find an outlet.

This hasn't been a good year.

Lots of anger and anguish.

Need to evolve and become a better person.

In all aspects.

First step:
Reignite the engine within me.

Monday, September 29, 2008

陈洁仪 <<再爱一回>>

Seldom drive these days, and if I don't drive, I'll never listen to the radio.

Heard a song over 88.3 today, in the car. It's a very nice song. A classic by Kit Chan. Instantly transported back to the lovely days of the 90s! I don't know, but I fell in love with this song then when I heard the line "就让我演出我要的情节”。It's just a very nice song!

再爱一回
词许常德
曲许环良

从未想过让爱落幕
尽管看的泪眼模糊
谁来主演我不在乎
只要能被你保护

吻我吧
别说话
灯关上
让黑夜继续漫长

就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切

就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓

风很傻
空的抓
抱我吧
我不想清楚对话

就让我再爱一回
你何苦告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切

就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓

就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切

就让我再爱一回
就算我到最后会流泪
忘不了抛不掉都是煎熬
都是你给的拥抱